Uncle Robbing Hood

I have an uncle on my dads side of the family he is quite a character I must say. I call him Uncle Robbing Hood. I call him that because he is always up to no good and he usually "borrows" things for the good of the people just like Robin Hood. He is homeless by choice but he is funny as hell. He has always done crazy things such as (now take note he faced the courts on all of these stories) one time he backed his truck up behind a grocery store and stole all the Doritos out of a delivery truck then pulled up in the neighborhood asking if anyone wanted Doritos he said "I don't even like Doritos" another time he used old receipts he found in the parking lot of the grocery store to "borrow" christmas trees and then gave them out to people that didn't have christmas trees, so why do this I believe he loves to see what he can get away with. He used to be and still tries to maintain a career of painting houses and he once told me that he got fired from his painting job because "the owner told him drinks were on the house so he sat on the roof all day and waited". Another time when he had to face the courts for one of his many incidents the judge asked him in regards to paying some dues "Where do you live?" his honest reply was "The Woods of London Bridge" which anyone from the Virginia Beach area would know that that is a very nice neighborhood except Robbing Hood was being a smart ass and used this play on words to confuse the judge when the judge asked "If you live in such a nice community why are you unable to pay your dues" he said "No judge I meant THE WOODS of London Bridge I live in a tent in the woods." Robbing Hood can usually be seen pan-handling all over the city but he says when he does he never accepts handouts from any women that look like single mothers because "He is trying to show their children that single mothers need to keep their money for themselves not passing it out to the homeless" hey atleast he has morals although sometimes it is hard to understand his mentality. He has a reason for everything he choses his lifestyle I believe because he is such a free-spirit well that is til he gets locked up. This last court appearance he received a hefty sentence but of course having a lucky horseshoe up his ass or something the next morning in his cell the deputy said "You're free to go were overcrowded" so again Robbing Hood narrowly escapes incarcaration by swinging from the branches of the legal system.