"The Jailhouse Letter"

This is the story about "The Jailhouse Letter" prank I played on my girl whom we shall call "My Nubien Momma". One night while working the midnight shift I was on one of my upswing moods and the idea of sending a jailhouse letter asking "My Nubien Momma" for help. Here is what the jailhouse letter said:
Dear "Nubien Momma",
    I'm writing this quickly so the deputies dont know I have a pencil. Ive been arrested for Domestic Assault, Drunk in Public, and indecent exposure. I was not wearing a white bra so I have to wear an orange jumpsuit with only my 32 year old boobies underneath. Im scared! Im hungry cause I already ate my bolongna sandwich and some "LADY" stole my generic Nilla Wafers plus you know Im using my orange for a fruity cocktail for later....take the edge off you know. Could you please send me some canteen money so I can buy some cookies?    
                                                                             KIT, HELP,ASAP
                                                                         Misse Mizdameanor soon to be
                                                                                  Misse Felony

P.S. My new "GIRLFRIEND" says Hi and demands you send her some white socks.