It could only happen to me!

So today I'm at home chilling with the girls and cleaning the house and I get a ring on my phone. It's my dad who basically loves to call me with strange things and hot gossip...like father like daughter. Anyway he says I'm calling you because I have a secret and I've been keeping it from you for a year. And of course anyone who knows me knows that the last time he told me this he busted out the closest like a cartoon character in a leopard print leotard. Anyway he precedes to slowing tell me scared me to the point of a possible stroke for 15 minutes that he was up for a possible new job and he would have to leave his job for a few months and that his job already gave him the go ahead and he had the leave yada yada yada. Then he tells me "I didn't think anything would come of it" and so I didn't say anything to you. He said these people asked him questions and had to confirm he never did anything "adult themed in his life" so my heart starts racing and I said "OMFG you are not going to be a stripper" he says "NO!" then I say "OMFG you are not doing porn for Gods sake I'm gonna have a heart attack dad you are going to kill me and I'm only 32! Then he says "NO!" . He then says (dropping the bomb I'm worried the end of the world isnt in 2012 it's now) I'm in part of the final stages of being selected for  a FUCKING REALITY SHOW! I'm gonna die! People please send your donations in lieu of flowers to "mygaydadgavemeastroke.org". I hope I will be missed OMFG.