"TeaBagged"

Ha! Ya'll dirty minded readers actually thought I was gonna discuss something sexual aww hell nah. This is the story of Misse the dorky 2nd grader and the reason why she does not like to participate in any organized sports or co-ed events. All throughout elementary school there was a boy whom I will call "He-Man" and even in kindergarten he could have given Sammy Sosa a run for his money when it came to all things sports. I on the other hand hated Gym would often fake sick to avoid it and try my best not to get picked for anything other than the line for the nurse to check me for scleosis (sometimes even hunching over while looking lost near the line just to get the nurses attention). On this particular day we were scheduled to have what our gym teacher referred to as "FUN DAY" fun hell we had to play "CRAB JOLLY BALL". This game if you never were so honored to play consists of all the children in the class sitting in a huge circle with their shoes off. Then there was the ball not just any ball a marble for Godzilla this ball was about 4 foot across and don't ask me to figure out the diameter on that I also hated math class. Anyway the players would sit in the circle and use their feet to kick the ball to the other areas of the circle trying to knock the ball out of the circle inturn eliminating the player that missed the ball. Well the game had been going on for about all of 10 minutes and I was extremely nervous I kept praying to myself please God let the fucking ball go somewhere other than near me. Well then I notice that "He-Man" had control of the ball and yep you guessed it i'm directly across from him in the circle. He kicks the ball if that word could actually describe the strength in which that damn ball was hurled at me. I sat there getting ready to just duck and say the hell with it when I realized I just didn't have time to escape it so to my terror in the 2nd grade I seriously "GOT TEABAGGED" by a GIANT BALL full force to the face knocking me backwards while everyone froze in fear and my life ages newborn through 7 years old flashed before me. Then silence. I awoke on the floor with teachers trying to wake me up and I heard them saying hold on theres an ambulance coming I was unconsicious not only had I been Teabagged by "He-Man" I was knocked out like an alcoholic on a holiday. I had slammed my head so hard on the gym floor they thought I...as 1 teacher put it split my head open like a pun-kin. The best thing that actually came out of this story was that I was able to milk that head injury into NO P.E. for 3 days thanks to "He-Man". Public Service Announcement: To all the Moms and Dads out there talk to your children about the dangers of "TeaBagging" this problem doesn't just happen amongst the teenage community it's happening in the rural county elementary school systems too. So talk to your sons and daughters give them advice on how to avoid a "ball" to the face or better yet teach em how to handle a ball to the face gracefully its very important and if we can just prevent 1 dorky redneck girl from being "Teabagged" early in life it will make a world of difference.