Random Blog of the Night

Today before going to work was one of my usual days. I attempted to contact my boys by emailing and texting them and of course my tries were unsuccessful. I have a major road block in my efforts to be my boys mother. Their step-mother thinks that she controls who can and cant communicate with them. My question is how can you call a mother a deadbeat when you chop down every rung of the ladder Im trying to climb. How can I be there for my boys when calls, texts, emails, facebook are all intercepted by this woman? These forms of communication are vital to my relationships with my boys especially since they moved them out of the area 6 to 7 hours away. So am I really the deadbeat or are you making people believe I dont put in the effort? There is a reason God doesn't give certain people children and my motto has always been what goes around comes around and one day you will learn that. Trust me I have nothing against any form of religion believe it or not Im a christian and no Im not a perfect person but atleast I dont pretend to be a godly woman I am only myself I don't pretend and I don't say evil prayers. Being a mother is not easy you are not born knowing how to be a mother but you learn to be and I can only give my all to them even if from a distance. I am not a deadbeat mother I have followed my legal custody agreement to the tee have they? No in fact they are not instilling any good morals upon my boys when the emails I get are all about how the things I have bought and sent them arent good enough even though the pawn shops seem to still let them cash in on these gifts. A real mother no matter what the circumstances would never sell their childrens belongings just to help them out financially instead of getting a job. It was once said at the end of an email quote "my prayers to you that one day your boys will forgive you for leaving them" to that prayer I say to you "I pray that one day my boys find it in their hearts to forgive you for wrecking their family and taking their mom away". I love my boys they are my heart and I carry them with me everyday no matter where they live. I have not abandoned them nor will I ever. I'm here only stuck behind this glass barrier called "HER".