Out of Order

When I was fourteen and living in the county where there was absolutely nothing to do except to get into trouble I would usually volunteer to ride to the grocery store with my Nanny and Papaw. The ride to the Farm Fresh from where we lived it took about 50 minutes to get there especially at the safe speed limit that my Papaw would drive that and he was usually busy having a verbal dispute with Nanny while he drove instead of putting the pedal to the metal. It never failed that my Nanny would sing along to WCMS driving Papaw to the brink of his sanity apparently because about 10 minutes into the ride he would lose it and yell "would you shut it Bobby?" and of course my Nanny being stubborn (that may explain my temperament) would not stop singing until a song came on that she didn't know. Anyways I digress when I was fourteen I thought I was such a hottie so of course I would wear the usual "Dukes of Hazard" type summer attire and for you smart asses I don't mean a flannel I dressed like a girl sometimes. So my Nanny goes into the grocery store taking her time as usual while I sat on the bench near the bubble gum machines and I noticed three city skater boys outside near the Coke machine. So I put my best strut on (i'm now being told by friends that it was actually my "Dork Strut") when leaving the store lagging behind my Nanny who was pushing her cart to the truck so the city boys wouldn't see me with my grandparents. Well I noticed that they were staring at me from where they were standing and I was like "OMG they think I'm hot" well of course no such luck for me because just as I realized my Nanny had slowed down to get my attention while I was only paying attention to the boys I was informed ever so loudly what they were staring at......they were freaking staring at the "OUT OF ORDER" sign that was stuck to my butt. Apparently I had sat too close to the broken bubble gum machine and managed to sit on the sign that fell off and was conviently sitting on the bench. Now not only was I not a Hottie, and I was not cool for being with my grandparents these dudes thought my butt was out of order
GEES-S-Christ!!!!!