Easter is banned

Easter is banned. I am not allowed to participate. I am hyperactive and therefore I am not allowed to have sugar. I am not a member of Peta but I've been told "Never hurt any animal" so I'm not allowed to bite rabbits. Easter is a religious holiday so there goes alcohol consumption well except that little shot glass of wine they serve during communion wait I should take two pieces of christ I skipped breakfast (I'm a christian that's a joke peeps) wait I must be lost how did I end up in church did the cops that arrested me for being drunk in public last night drop me off at the wrong address or maybe I was yelling "Go to hell" 1 too many times. Easter egg hunts are pointless and tiring ever tried to find eggs in a trailer park do you know how many pieces of junk I mean lawn ornaments are in the front yard. Besides Egg hunts are just a way of parents keeping sugared upped children busy while they sit on the front porch drinking their 40's I kid I was told that was orange juice not Mad Dog. Ok I confess I've had some Candy and now I'm hyper hence the reason I'm blogging about Easter. Like I said before Easter is a religious holiday so observe the holiday and don't cross me, if I'm lost save me, I'm not skinny dipping (I could'nt find my karate uniform) in your backyard pool I'm performing a baptism on myself I figured I can't wait til christmas to confess my sins and it's probably wrong to ask to be saved especially since I've been told and I believed it was confirmed by a pastor (who performed my exorcism) I'm a heathen but atleast I'm a heathen with a Cadbury egg.